Life & Courses of Action

Life is Unpredictable.

It's spontaneous, it's fun, it's thrilling, it's ridiculously fantastic.

It's Complicated.

Over the past year my life has taken a number of different paths.

This blog started off as a way for me to try and get a little more out of life as part-time at home young mom.

Then last May, little under a year ago, my ex-fiance and I broke up after 3 1/2 years and having our gorgeous baby girl.

Shortly after a near psychotic break down, and a couple of rebounds I met J.

J blew me off my feet. He was just a down to earth guy with a classy streak and a smile that can make any woman fall head over heels for him. Oh good lordie that smile.

& I moved in with him. Maybe a little too early as the stress of literally aquiring a new family over night and my *ahem* vibrant & headstrong  personality seemed overwhelming.

My mistakes that seemed to be rooted in never really having a mature relationship; his that seemed to come from his own personal insecurities, and the fact that our personalities seemed to mirror & feed into each other so perfectly in the worst and best ways, everything seemed to crumble after a series of 3-4 day honeymoon periods.

But it was passion.

Even in the worst of times as we were yelling and screaming, chasing each other through the house there was always that underlying want and inability to let go of something you love.

Sometimes I was shocked we didn't just break down into a full out toddler fight with pinching and biting.

 I certainly stomped my feet enough times.

But I still love P.

Not as in a relationship, but as my high school sweet heart, as my first, as someone who was the center of my world for 4 years, as my child's father and as someone who's part of my life.

Apparently that's an intimidating thing to alot of people, including J.

And so it leads to me moving out. Again.

Another path, another way, another change.

All I can look at it as being is a change towards stability. And so comes a new dedication to this blog (how many times have I said that right?!)

In all honesty, I want stability, I want focus, and I want to go somewhere in life and this just feels like a turning point in my life.

It's taking the aspects both P & J added to my life, the qualities and authenticity they gave to the way I live and my memories of the years past.

So from now on I focus.

I focus on:

Solidifying my rental apartment application.

Furnishing that aptartment.

Finding a Job.

Starting a Business

Writing a book

Giving a kick of motivation to getting out into the Modeling world.

But most importantly, being a good mother and providing quality memories and morals for my daughter to grow up on. That is my responsibility as a parent.

These are just a few of the different aspects of my life but they're what add to its vitality. They add life to living and what make me happy & inspire, and from now on this blog is to record each step I take towards bettering myself and my life.